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Thom Cardwell
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James Duggan

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Thom Cardwell

Copyright 2009

All Rights Reserved - BUCKmonkey, LLC 

 

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QUEERtimes is published weekly as a service for discerning queers and heterosexuals alike in Philadelphia and beyond.

 

Expressed opinions are that of the author(s) and do not represent the thoughts, feelings and /or opinions of any person, organization, company, staff member, or any of our advertisers.

This week I received an email from a dear friend from my university days whom I have not seen in over 23 years.  Thanks to facebook he was quickly brought up to speed with my views and beliefs as I express them today as a queer rights activist.

We had been roommates during my first year at the Franciscan University of Steubenville where we were both young Christians with a zeal that is often found among neophytes.  It was not uncommon to see students praying in public in both groups and as individuals every day on campus.

Steubenville was an immense submersion in both Catholic teaching and mysticism that it inspired my mind and rejoiced my soul.  My roommate and I often prayed together late into the evening in our dorm room. 

That was the beginning of a 25 year journey that began with a spiritual awakening that lead to my advocacy for queer civil rights today.

My friend asked: "How did you get from where we were in the dorm room to where you are today?" 

A question I know is on the hearts and minds of many of my Christian brothers and sisters I have prayed and worshipped with over the years. It's a very valid question that deserves an answer.

First, to be clear, I was just as much a gay man during my university days as I am today.  My spiritual journey into and through the Church was rooted in the belief that I was born a gay man.  My struggle was how do I reconcile this truth with the truth that I was being taught and asked to live?

Intellectually, I embraced the teachings of the Church that homosexual inclinations were not sinful but its acts were.  I came to believe that the only option for me was one of celibacy. For awhile I even found my self becoming an apologist for this teaching; discoursing augments in support of the Church's position against homosexuality.

In 1997, I graduated from Steubenville with no greater desire then to follow Christ and his will for my life. But the more I prayed, the more I studied, the more degrees I earned, and the more I sought wise pastoral counsel,  the more I grew in conflict with the Church's teaching and my own experience as a gay man in relationship with God and his church.

Over time I came to the belief that the traditional Christian teaching on homosexuality was based more on fear, misunderstanding and the misinterpretations of certain lines of scripture than it was on truth. 

Today I believe that it is this same traditional teaching that has fueled discrimination and persecution against queers for centuries and is to blame for the modern day struggles that we face in our fight for equality around the globe.

As I continued to grow in my faith and the understanding of my personal and spiritual journey, I discovered there where far too many noted theologians and scripture scholars than could be ignored who were also rejecting this traditional teaching on homosexuality.  I was especially inspirited by a simple letter by Bruce W. Lowe to his friend Louise. In this letter Lowe provides us with as clear a biblical affirmation of homosexuality as there is today.

As I continued my journey I was enlightened by the studies on Matthew 19:12, "For there are eunuchs that were so born from their mother's womb."

According to some of these studies, along with the historical understanding of eunuchs in biblical history, it is argued that this type of eunuch, eunuchs by birth, is a direct reference by Jesus to gay men, a truth whose ramifications would not only ripple throughout centuries of interpreting the bible but would also shake modern day religion into renewed spirit.

Today, 25 years later, I am still the same gay man, but with a more profound understanding of who I am as a Christian and my responsibilities as a citizen. While my beliefs have exiled me from the Church that I grew to love, my spiritual journey and my desire to do God's will in my life continues to guide me today as I fight for the simple truth that we are all created equal, both heterosexual and queer. Without embracing this truth, none of us are free.

 

 

Josh Kilmer-Purcell, queer social critic (joshkilmer-purcell.com), wrote an interesting twist, "The Queer New Deal" (OUT, November 2008) that might have some profound renewed meaning on the state of affairs that we can suddenly, it seems, find ourselves. "We gays have played a largely unsung part in rescuing this country from its occasional financial doldrums. Most politicians wouldn't consider deploying troops of homos in the war against fiscal floundering to be a successful economic policy. But in fact that's exactly what they unwittingly did during the Great Depression of the 1930s. The Works Progress Administration scattered thousands of fantastic fags around the country, putting them to federally funded work beautifying America through song, art and theater. Gay artists like Marsden Hartley and Paul Cadmus practically defined the era's hypermasculine visual aesthetic (think early Tom of Finland). Murals of broad-chested, sweaty, hardworking men sprang up in towns and villages around the country. WPA-funded phag photographer Minor White was one of the earliest photographers of the male nude. The Federal Theater Project brought live theater to parts of the country that had never before seen drama queens in real life. This "let's put on a show in a theater decorated with a sweaty-naked-male mural" played a large part in making the Depression a little less depressing."

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What's old is new again. The more things change, the more things stay the same. These cliches have some truth to them. The editors at New York (June 8, 2009) know that and they also know the similarities between 1959 and 2009. Despite the 50 years of difference in those two dates or, put another way, a half century apart, which really sounds, to me, as an even longer period of time, they talked about a forgotten but powerful art movement or aesthetic moment that has all but been forgotten. Do you remember The Happening?  Artist-philosopher Allan Kaprow staged the first of countless happenings around the world on October 4, 1959, at the Reuben Gallery in New York City. He defined the happening as "an event that, put simply, happens" and involves participation from the audience, not as mere observers, in the whole spectacle with fellow artists. The happening then developed quickly into "the love-in," "the be-in," and ultimately "the riot" the collective acid trip. The editors now claim, "Later, the spread of cell phones and the Internet sparked a revival in 'smart mobs,' happenings for the cyber-century."

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Queer porn idol Francois Sagat can't find his Latino dream boy (his ideal mate) because his public life gets in the way of his private life as he told Canadian writer Shawn Hitchins (Fab, June 10-23, 2009). Everyone who knows the recognizable, hunky, kinky, sex animal with the signature hairline tattoo (it looks like an armored skull cap, perhaps worn once by a soldier in Gaul) thinks that "they own a piece of me" and it's difficult for Sagat to deal with that issue in strangers. Discovered by TitanMedia and Raging Stallion Studios, Sagat has exuded his incredibly sexual prowess in a large number of instant gay adult classics. He admits in real life to having a lousy sexual life until he, at then age 25, found his darker, wilder, sexual side. He finds his sexual celebrity status "illogical and silly."  These days in search of his Mr. Right he seeks intimacy and meaningful relationships only with a close circle of good friends (he admits that "all the real moments are with them.). "I love sex. My ideal sexual experience would be with someone I wouldn't get enough of, someone that I will desire more and more every day. I'm not looking for a type of sex or to experiment with sex. I'm looking for a guy that can handle me and that I can handle him and that's all very difficult."  It'll definitely take some heavy lifting with Sagat (pun intended)!